BSUWG Has Answers!

05 Nov 2007

elvis.jpg

Moments ago, my friends, someone posed the following question (cut-n-pasted exactly as queried) on an Internet search engine and wound up on my blog:

what is the material that settles to the bottem of the jar after a jar of muddy dirty water has been shook up

Great question!! In case you're still here, young knowledge-seeker, I'd like to provide a better and more to-the-point answer than whatever blog entry of mine you read.

I know what you're thinking: Based on my aforementioned mood (yesterday's pathetic post), my history of obnoxious online behavior (most recently, vandalizing the Wikipedia), and my apparently perverted and often rather dry sense of humor, you're thinking I'm going to make a lame joke at your expense. After all, I agree it'd be pretty damn funny if I bluntly stated the obvious: "It's dirt."

But I know that you're deeper than that. Even though you blew the spelling of "bottom," I believe that your using the phrase "shook up" indicates something more profound. In times like these, I've always found it helpful to consult perhaps the greatest lyricist of all time -- Elvis. Now, let's have a boo at the lyrics to "All Shook Up," shall we?

Well bless my soul,
what's wrong with me?
I'm itchin' like a man on a fuzzy tree.
My friends say I'm actin' queer as a bug.
I'm in love.
I'm all shook up!

Fuzzy trees and queer bugs? One could almost mash that tune up with, say, Lucy in the Sky. But I digress. The thing is ... Your query, lad, however carefully paraphrased/masked, was instantly transparent to this particular late-30s blogger (as it certainly is/was to many of my, oh, GenY and older readers).

Had you asked any of us directly, I think we could have been of greater assistance. But you didn't. So, it is out of the kindness of my heart -- my inner altruistic desire to help a brother out -- that I'll answer your actual question. See, when you ask me what the material is that settles to the bottom of a jar of muddy water after it's been shaken, what you're really asking is:

Patrick, what is the material ("what is this feeling, this heretofore unknown emotion") that settles to the bottom of the jar ("striking the pit of my gut, the core of my very soul") after a jar of of muddy dirty water ("when some lowly, undeserving schmuck like me") has been shook up ("meets a woman so breathtakingly vibrant that I'm rendered utterly vulnerable by her presence").

The answer's not dirt, young man; the answer is love. Welcome to adulthood, young knowledge-seeker. And, believe me, it is with the utmost sincerity that I wish you the best of luck. Chances are, you'll be shook up again and again.

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On November 5, 2007, Grant Miller wrote:

Dirt? Then what is silt?

On November 5, 2007, Dragon Laugh wrote:

I sorta like the word "sludge" myself. But, hey - dirt, sludge ... it makes for great writing material.

On November 6, 2007, Leonesse wrote:

Wow, Oracle Bsuwg. Is this Love sediment all I need?

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