Have a Little Heart

19 Feb 2007

96.9, Bob FM says, "We Play Anything."

Great station, but although they play "anything," they also have a handful of tunes they can't seem to play enough, such as Heart's craptacular hit "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You." Seriously, how the hell did that band get from classics like Crazy on You, Magic Man, and Barracuda to that god-awful tune? So I set out to improve it.

I looked up the lyrics, then went over to Babel Fish. There, I translated the lyrics to French, then translated the French translation back to English. It was still pretty awful. So, I translated the new English to German, and then that German back to English. Here's the result, a vast improvement, if you ask me (with cool new lyrics in red, much like the words of Christ in the bible):

It was not damages, when it the sight it holds ready the road took over an umbrella rainy, no coat, therefore I not to the top side along the side drew and I offered a revolution for him which it with a smile assumed, therefore, which we led during one moment, I asked him over for its name, this boy alone in the fate of the rain do not indicate not me that it is quite, am this Thunderbolt fulfill form him the evil not, residence right for the night of everything I to form on would like must you to love you indicate let wish me to all, I would like to form must you love ' hold let over Ainsi found we this hotel, it were a place, which I knew that we formed well the magic, which damages. Ampere-hour, formed it straight it got the woman from me, as much for the time out, easy and the mornings, when it still woke up all I, which were said to it it a note I that I am the flower, which is you the seed we into the garden went, we a tree do not try, me for finding established, do not wish not to you phase a right of the challenge in my memory, you am announce always there that I would like to form must you form, love one from the love was all damage we knew that all would like to form to have to the love I to form, arm for you lovin have, ' to to hold over if we formed for love of the love as foreigners, whom the whole long night we educated with love Alors, them during a daily are produced, we came around the the same way that you can present its surprise, when them admit its own eyes I as please saw understand yourselves please that I am in the love with another man and which could not give it me to thing small one were, which you can announce that I would like to form must, whom you educate love one from the love was all damage we knew, am that I to form would like, all they Love progress to form, say that you must form, you you, all love one damages from the love was we knew that everything, which I would like to form is you love, you to be indicated to be able to wish me also

Maybe Heart isn't so bad once it's processed a little.

Original Comments

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On February 20, 2007, Blue Wren wrote:

Patrick, I think you need a hobby.

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