Wisdom Post

02 Feb 2008

wisdom.jpg

I've been both out of the loop and loopy for a few days ... Anyone else (besides Doc ) ever experience the bliss of wisdom tooth extraction? It's sooo much fun! I highly recommend it if you get any free time.

May I also ask any readers in the know: Of what general value at all is this supposed pharmacological miralcle called Vicodin? I'd heard this described many times as a favorite among drug dealers and rap-ganstaz. However, I popped one when the novocain wore off and (guess what?) it had no effect whatsoever. Seriously, what a boring drug. I switched to plain old Advil, which worked 10x better. Thus ends this post as intended for 98% of all readers.

Here's some brief bonus material for those 2% who enjoy the gore:

It begins thus: You walk in and the scrubs-wearing oral surgeon skips the small talk and greets you with, "You sure you wanna do this with a local anesthetic?" He points to your x-ray and says something like, "That's totally impacted. I'm going to have to drill it out."

He then spends a half-hour alternating between scalpels, Black-and-Deckering into your jaw, and jamming what feels like a large awl into you with monster-truck force. But the surgeon is experienced ... He says things that calm you down (a little) during the procedure -- things like, "Patrick, in a minute I'm going to do so-and-so, and you'll hear sounds and feel pressure, but there isn't any pain." And, while he's traumatizing your jaw, you realize he's right. Either that or he's using powerful hypnotic suggestion. Either way, somehow you're able to zen out and just ignore the grinding, the cracking, the pressure. The surgery's over in a half hour and you walk out knowing that this shit's going to hurt like hell in a few hours.

Call me weird, but I'd rather endure a half-hour of rough surgery awake than be put to sleep. I guess I'm that afraid of general anaesthesia. Too close to death for my liking.

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On February 2, 2008, Leonesse wrote:

I have always assumed the wisdom tooth was for back in the day when you would have needed another tooth as the others rotted and fell out. I figure it would then grow in just fine because of the room, however, I have never asked a dentist this question so it may be totally off in left field.

Also, those painkillers never do anything for me. Not even the shots.

On February 3, 2008, Evil Genius wrote:

I had local and it wore off in the middle. The dentist all but had his knee in my chest and I almost kicked the hygenist in the head.

Leonesse- Wisdom teeth are actually evolutionary byproducts. Our jaws used to be larger and were able to accommodate the extras.

On February 3, 2008, Reg wrote:

I agree 100% about a "general". I had knee surgery two years ago and was terrified by the prospect of going under.

On February 3, 2008, constant_drama wrote:

I had a wisdom tooth removed when I was 17. They didnt put me to sleep which I was happy coz I kinda get a kick out of the pain I was feeling. Wasnt much but it was ... well lets just put this way ... I am a bit of masochistic.

On February 3, 2008, Dale wrote:

Being the moron that I am, I was lucky to only have one wisdom tooth come in. The mad dentist who cut my jaw apart and left fragments of the tooth in before sewing me up lives on in my memory. Sexy sexy post.

On February 8, 2008, Jim Dee wrote:

Whoa, Bobby Lightfoot?! Rocker extraordinaire, brother of the Nedster, & father to Sal the Feist?! Welcome back ... I thought you disappeared from the blogosphere a while back. Miss your blog & rants. Drop me a comment if you start up again so I can link up.

On June 14, 2011, Shan wrote:

It's funny that people are shocked by that x-ray because my two bottom wisdom teeth were actually like this. Horizontally impacted and the right-hand side one started to cause decay in the tooth in front of it. Had them out yesterday, kinda wishing I hadn't now because of numbness and a little pain but needless to say it will be beneficial in the future.

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