Publicly Aired Question For My Sister

31 Aug 2007

airplane.jpg

Sis-

Could you possibly take a moment to hit the comments section and describe the plane ride to Florida? I heard you stood up and told off the whole plane ! Seriously, did you really do that?!! If so, it's fucking cool and I have to hear the story (and everyone else should too).

-Bro

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On August 31, 2007, Captain Smack wrote:

I, too, would like to hear of this. Please, do tell.

On August 31, 2007, anandamide wrote:

Me too !! Me too !!

On August 31, 2007, Anonymous wrote:

Hi Patrick!

Well, I wouldn’t say I “told-off” the whole plane, although I guess I did get a little “Uncle Charlton” on those folks sitting around me. I just don’t fly often enough to know how to deal with people, and it’s no coincidence that I was reminded of the many reasons I don’t fly.

Mom probably told you about the “Corn” guy, sitting behind her. This guy talked about corn the *entire* flight. How many rows of corn he planted, when he planted, when he expects to harvest, the soil composition to get the best corn, insects and animals that have been eating the corn, what varieties of sweet corn he likes the best. It was just like Forrest Gump – “shrimp cocktail, shrimp gumbo, shrimp & potatoes……” I actually WISHED the plane would go down, but, then I thought that with my luck, it would have gone down in a corn field. Also, his ears must have been blocked, because he was practically screaming to the lady next to him.

We had a lot of turbulence for the first hour or so. I suppose that made me nervous. So, after a while everyone started complaining about how hot it was getting in the cabin. I mean, it was a little warm, but the way everyone started carrying on, you’d think we were flying into the goddam Sahara. *Everybody* started simultaneously playing with the air-vent thingies. Meanwhile, the flight attendants were too busy discussing how there were respectively dealing with their kitchen remodeling projects to notice that the natives were getting restless. Seriously, I’ve never seen two people (flight attendants) so oblivious to their jobs (watching what’s going on in the plane) in my life.

The kid in front of me, about 8, was flying alone, and kept looking back at me for entertainment. He was showing me the items available for sale in the Sky-Mall magazine.

So, yeah – I might have boiled over a little. And, maybe yelling out “WHY DON’T YOU PEOPLE STOP FUCKING PLAYING WITH THE FUCKING AIR VENTS FOR 5 SECONDS? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HOT IN HERE” was a bit excessive. I guess I thought that they were somehow diverting power away from the engines by playing with those things.

That’s it, really – again, the flight attendants didn’t even notice. I got some glaring looks from those around me, though. And, after that, the kid in front left me alone. But, the Corn Guy kept on talking about corn until we pulled up to the gate.

On August 31, 2007, Beth wrote:

Your sister rocks, BSUWG.

On August 31, 2007, chief wrote:

As the co worker of anonymous, I am very disappointed that I had to read this on BSUWG and did not get a verbal update.

On September 4, 2007, Kevin Wolf wrote:

When I read "I actually WISHED the plane would go down, but, then I thought that with my luck, it would have gone down in a corn field," I thought the same thing: She needs a blog.

On September 9, 2007, Winter wrote:

I find corn interesting.

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