The Buick Electra

19 May 2006

Nothing much on my mind today but, considering my recent car-related post, I figured I'd post another such memory before signing off for the weekend. This one's super short, but also kind of funny to me.

About nine years ago, I had an enormous, crappy Buick Electra (not one of the cool ones from the 50s or 60s, but one of the huge, clunky, extremely ugly ones from the mid-80s). Anyway, I don't recall exactly what brought BudMan (see earlier posts) and me to the Pep Boys that day, but the beast just wasn't running right.

Before going into the store, BudMan told me that what I needed to do was to floor the thing to "burn the carbon out" or something like that. This part is all rather vague.But, part of this memory is crystal clear -- the part about what happened when I did floor the thing. Now, my car was positioned so that the exhaust pipe was aimed pretty much directly at the front door of the Pep Boys store, although (thank God) about 20-30 feet back from the entrance. And, I know you're going to think I'm making this next part up, but I swear it's true:There was a guy dressed in all white clothing walking into the store at the time.

Well, I floored it *real good* - I'm talking "pedal to the metal" for maybe five seconds -- and, when I did, this *ungodly gigantic thick-black plume of soot and crap* shot out of the tailpipe, *completely engulfing* the entire entrance area of the store -- with the guy dressed in white clothes right smack in the middle of it all. It looked like a bomb went off.

If that guy would have been armed, I'm certain I would have never been able to confess this story, as he'd certainly have shot meANDmy brother-in-law for what I did to him. But, the poor bastard didn't really do anything; he just shouted a few obscenities and somehow found his way through the cloud and into the store. Looking back, this guy's lack of complete rage is, to me, actually the most interesting part of the story.

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On May 19, 2006, wormstooth wrote:

I used to blow out the carbon. It sounded like a good idea to a mechanically challenged kid. After I was through, my car was still a shitbox.

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