15 Questions About Pinocchio

14 Nov 2007


  1. Does his nose shrink when he tells the truth?
  2. What if he told so many lies that his nose grew to a weight he couldn't support with his neck?
  3. How long do you figure that would be, based on his woody musculature?
  4. What if he told one million lies?
  5. Since he's not human and therefore immune to most human longevity standards, is there even a practical limit to the potential length of his nose?
  6. And from whence would all of this new wood manifest?
  7. Is the woody flesh for his lengthening nose taken from his body, or is it a case of new matter being created?
  8. If it's the latter, doesn't that violate fundamental laws of physics?
  9. Is there any effect when he thinks lies (as opposed to stating them)?
  10. What would Freud say?
  11. You think maybe Papa Geppetto was some kind of sick fuck?
  12. Do you think Pinocchio made the association between "Jiminy Cricket" and "Jesus Christ"?
  13. Does the tale suggest to men that lying actually lengthens appendages?
  14. Is this why so many men are liars?
  15. Is it common for others to, like me, remain almost completely apathetic regarding Pinocchio?

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On November 14, 2007, anandamide wrote:

I wonder what potential side-effects there might be if he ever needs Viagra.

On November 15, 2007, edP wrote:

You should blow up that wooden doll with gas!

On November 16, 2007, Grant Miller wrote:

This is fucking brilliant and I hate you for it.

Amazing great work. I laughed. Loudly.

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