Al Qaeda Enters the Risky Micro-Brew Marketplace

19 Oct 2006

According to a Yahoo news article today, President Bush warned: "First of all, al Qaeda is still very active inIraq. They are dangerous. They are lethal. They are trying to not only kill American troops, but they're trying to ferment sectarian violence." Now, you all know me well enough by now to know that I generally keep relatively clear of politics; it just isn't my forte, right?But when a solution presents itself to me, I tend to voice it proudly -- like the time I came up with that humdinger about (1) legalizing flag burning while (2) simultaneously raising the price of flags to about $500 each. (No one else saw the elegance in that, unfortunately.) In any case, one can only assume that "Sectarian Violence" is al Qaeda's name for a new microbrew, a venture that makes sense when you look at it from a marketing perspective. Coors may have itsRocky Mountains, Hamms may have had theirLandofSky Blue Waters("land of pines, lofty balsams"), but that can't touch the historical significance of those renowned Mesopotamian waters, theTigrisandEuphrates. It's pure history, my friends, and a river runs through it. Sure, neither is mighty as theNile, or spiritual as theGanges. But, we're talking "cradle of civilization" here, and what could be more civilized than a frosty cold micro-brew? We're talking land of kings and ziggurats -- friggin'Babylon, for crying out loud, the old-school Nebuchadnezzar (way before the Wachowski brothers copped the name for Morpheus' spaceship). The funny thing is, of course, that Muslims aren't supposed to drink. (At least, that's what I've been lead to believe, based on the two Moslem weddings I attended long ago -- also blogged about previously).That "turn water into wine" routine appeared in JC's magic spell book, not Allah's. So, we'll have to await further news on how al Qaeda plans to realize a healthy ROI on this venture. Will wonders never cease?!

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Update:As it turns out, I was wrong ...again. Bush said al Qaeda is trying to foment sectarian violence -- an odd little word meaning "to incite." Not ferment, the complex chemical reaction responsible for producing tasty alcoholic beverages. My bad.

Original Comments

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On October 23, 2006, Johnny Ong wrote:

u can really write, keep it up

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