IMHO Installment #105: You Can Keep Black Friday

22 Nov 2007

furby.jpg

In just under an hour, it'll be Black Friday. It's amazing, when you think about it, that we still say "Black Friday." Just last week, Yahoo posted a front-page story about Santa Clauses being instructed to shout "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho" so as not to disparage whores. (Of course, you can't say whores anymore; they're sex industry workers.) It's only a matter of time before someone suggests "African American Friday" as the politically correct alternative. Probably someone from Boston, 'd be my guess.

But they'd be wrong, of course. Black Friday isn't about black people at all. It's about standing in a dark Wal Mart parking lot at 4:00 a.m., freezing your ass off along with 2,000 other idiots, * desperately hoping to purchase a Furby. Honestly, I highly doubt that anyone without young kids can possibly fathom Black Friday. Why, you'll ask yourself, would anyone stand anywhere at 4:00 a.m. (and especially Wal Mart) for anything?

I can offer no logical answer to that question. But, if you ever have a 3, 4, or 5 year old, you'll learn. Fortunately for me, those days are long gone. My daughter's nearly a teenager now, well beyond the "must-have toy of the year" stage. If she wants an MP3 player or something and one goes on special somewhere for $20 less than I can get it on Woot, it's just not worth the whole competitive-shopping hassle to save a few bucks.

So, I'll be at work tomorrow, screwing off on the Internet and enjoying getting paid for that while everyone else at Horn Dog Enterprises (HDE) has taken the day off to either (1) pursue their horn-doggery, or (2) stand in line at Wal Mart.

*Oh, and this idiot didn't get the Furby that night, as I recall. I think I wound up finding one somewhere else before Christmas. It was a big hit.

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On November 23, 2007, Leonesse wrote:

Lion King braved the stores today and since he just went after a leisurely lie in instead of the 4am debacle, he had a lovely time.

Now please explain the freaky word verification ...

shpmyfyy

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