- Category: Juvenilia
- Written by Jim Dee
I'm not a confidence man,
I'm a coincidence man;
Everything I do is a coincidence.
I can beat the highest odds.
I've won the lottery ten times.
I've never wrecked a car, but if you like,
I can do it on the same day as you.
If you write a sentence, I can write it too.
After all, there are only so many words,
so many storylines.
Literature, you see, is finite--and so is art.
Once, I spilled India Ink and accidentally
wrote a famous hai-ku ---in Japanese!!!
And I don't even speak the language!
I blew a horn for the first time
and it came out "Taps,"
and I had never even heard that!
It just so happens that all of my keys
fit all of your locks.
I've never stolen your ideas,
strange as they are,
I had them too!