The Road to a University

22 Apr 2014

One greedy day,
the administration thought
they needed more pay.
So they went out and bought

a pizza and two six-packs
and sat around that night
to think up new taxes;
how to raise them to new heights.

"Ten thousand's not enough!
try twelve or fourteen!,"
came out of the drunken
mouth of a dean.

He guzzled another brew
and said with a grin,
"I know a way to
bring more money in!"

We'll change the damn title
from Wilkes College to Wilkes U.
seeing that there is little
or nothing we'll have to do.

(Sure, we'll add a dorm!
and maybe a bathroom ot two)
Then a new school is born!
Yes, we'll call it Wilkes U. !!!

This turned the deans on;
"We think it's a winner.
(Besides, it's an excuse
to have a celebration dinner!)"

"This dinner, " they wobbled,
"should last quite a while--
We can sit at our tables
politely clapping and smiling

for long-winded speeches
and pictruresque slides
and the under-done carrots
to be served on the side."

They ranted and raved
in their orgiastic way
down the road they had paved
towards Wilkes University.

[Note: This one dates to 1990 or thereabouts. I remember that, at the time, the *College* I was attending was making a transition to being a *University*. They had a ceremony to mark the event in an art gallery at the school and asked me (as a student interested in poetry) to recite something. So, I actually recited the above at the ceremony. While I wasn't suspended or anything, I think it's fair to say that the college president's wife shot daggers at me, so to speak.]

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