CYGNUS A Galactic Intranet System Highlight

17 Feb 2008


I sometimes like to think that, after humanity is long gone, massive digital caches of information will persist on hard drives and other types of to-be-invented memory. There'll come a day when all of the collective knowledge of mankind -- including its art (written, visual, and aural) -- will fit on something ultra-durable and no bigger than a quarter. They'll be everywhere, stamped out by the bajillions just like pennies, or perhaps woven into our fabrics, or maybe even woven into our DNA.

Aeons after we've self-apocalypted, raising the cockroach to its oft-imagined status as head species of our nuclear-winterized world, aliens will pop down onto the Earth to refuel before quickly skedaddling (the sun, entering its Red Giant phase, anxious to engulf the Earth). They'll take a few of these odd little chips with them to some other young, habitable place where the luxury of time will allow them to access and translate everything we've ever produced and thought (if anyone ever gets around to it) -- Earth relegated to a mere folder (a forgotten curiosity filed away among countless other subdirectories) on some alien ominum gatherum.

This would include everything, mind you -- even your blog and mine. (Pause to say hello to XX5, my future homeboy keepin' in real in some backwater of Cygnus A in the Earth Year 2,655,412,557.) So, for the sake of grasping the Eternal in some fashion, by all means keep on writing and blogging -- and commenting; they'll save those, too -- because you're really entertaining future "kids" on the other side of the universe by participating.

Anyway, when it's all said and done and some alien researchers go to work distilling the true essence of our humanity, they're going to have to single out a kind of representative statement by which to define all of Earth. Arguably, that representation -- and, again, we're talking about the entire collective knowledge, dreams, beliefs, and creative output of the history of the human race -- will likely be the song "What's Up?" by 4 Non-Blondes.

I know what you're thinking: "Yes!"

Let's look at the lyrics:

Twenty-five years, an' my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big hill o-of hope, for a destination.
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man,
For whatever that means.

I get all choked up every time I read that. For, who among us didn't face an existential "quarter-life" crisis at 25? Hell, I didn't find much peace until well after my Saturn Return at age 29.5! So I can, like, totally relate.

An' so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed,
Just to get it all out, what's in my head,
An' I - I am feelin' a little peculiar.

Funny, that's exactly why I blog -- "to get it all out, what's in my head." You see how universal this stuff is, embodying the human condition so poetically?!

An' so I wake in the morning and I step outside
An' I take a deep breath an' I get real high
An' I scream from the top of my lungs, What's goin' on?!!!

I must say, that's my favorite part of the whole song. All kidding aside, I believe 4-Non-Blondes have uncovered something of critical importance. If everyone in the world could just stop all the endless chaos, the relentless pursuit of "progress" (whatever that is), the needless war-mongeing, the inter-bickering among countries, the mindless production of "food," the ridiculous production of "electricity," the unnecessary collection of "waste," the questionable need to "bathe," the bizarre need to wear "clothes," the pathetic furthering of "technology" ... If everyone would just set aside their ambition and smoked more pot, the world would be a god-damned Utopia! Why is this revelation not publicly broadcast more often?

And so I proudly echo 4 Non-Blondes: What's goin' on? In fact, I was going to finish this post, but then I got high ...

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CYGNUS A Galactic Intranet System: S ummation of Alien Planets/Civilizations

Earth: (extinct) Home to a "human" society bogged down by individuals attempting to realize their dreams and improve their environment as, ironically, the solution to all of their woes (cannabis sativa, a native flowering plant) lay before them the whole time. Click for more ...

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Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On February 18, 2008, Grant Miller wrote:

So wait. What is going on?

On February 18, 2008, BeckEye wrote:

Hey yeah ya-eeh yeah.

On February 24, 2008, JBanholzer wrote:

In Chapter IV of Huck Finn, Miss Watson’s helper Jim
href=>had a hair-ball
what knowed everything.

On February 24, 2008, JBanholzer wrote:

And I should soon consult with that fabled hairball, about how to better code.

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