If Jason Bourne Were a Songwriter ...

05 Feb 2008

After watching all three Bourne movies back to back recently, I'm inspired to rewrite the lyrics to the hit tune, "Imagination." May I present:


Assassination is funny; it makes your victims' brains runny.
It also costs lots of money
to put a bullet into you.

Assassination is crazy; assassins can never be lazy.
Getting targets to push up those daisies (is) what they do,
what they do ...

Have you ever heard a muffled blast and then a thud, and then and then ...
you find it's only an
assassination again?
Oh well.

Assassination is silly; dead people get clammy and chilly.
For example, you're all dead, cold, and blue ...
and I can imagine you'd want me dead, too.

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On February 5, 2008, Chris wrote:

The Police wrote it for him in the 80s :)

Once that youve decided on a killing
First you make a stone of your heart
And if you find that your hands are still willing
Then you can turn a murder into art

There really isnt need for bloodshed
You just do it with a little more finesse
If you can slip a tablet into someones coffee
Then it avoids an awful lot of mess

Its murder by numbers one two three
Its as easy to learn as your abc

Now if you have a taste for this experience
And youre flushed with your very first success
Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
And youll find your conscience bothers you much less

Because murder is like anything you take to
Its a habit-forming need for more and more
You can bump off every member of your family
And anybody else you find a bore

Because its murder by numbers one two three
Its as easy to learn as your abc

Now you can join the ranks of the illustrious
In historys great dark hall of fame
All our famous killers were industrious
At least the ones that we all know by name

But you can reach the top of your profession
If you become the leader of the land
For murder is the sport of the elected
And you dont need to lift a finger of your hand

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