Chile's Huge-Ass Swimming Pool

30 Jan 2008

Maybe I told this story before, but I remember standing in a street in Cochin, India, in 1994, watching a "worker elephant" carry a bunch of palm-tree branches for his shirtless, flip-flop-wearing, saronged master. An Indian guy nearby couldn't get over how amazed I was at the scene (you know, like I'd never seen an elephant in the street before).

I said to him, "Look, it's not the elephant itself that amazes me here -- although that's undeniably cool; rather, it's the thought of the sheer volume of paperwork that would be required for something like this in America. Owning an elephant in the States? It would probably take an act of God to put that one through all of the necessary permitting. But in India, just cough up the rupees and you're in business."

Along those lines (which I'll explain later), Yahoo! ran a story yesterday about the world's largest swimming pool. God DAMN, did you see the size of this thing? It's 20 acres !

Here's closer shot (below). They even have a glass pyramid, although theirs presumably does not hide the bones of Mary Magdalene (as did the one at the Louvre in Dan Brown's Pulitzer Prize-winning masterpiece, The DaVinci Code ).

Truthfully, the story pissed me off a little. How the hell is the world's largest swimming pool located outside of good ol' America?! Maybe we have lost our standing in the world, as so many have stated in recent years.

After much soul-searching and introspection, I've come to the conclusion that the blame for our embarrassing lack of world domination in the swimming pool category must relate to our governmental and legal systems (or, more succinctly put, American bureaucrats and lawyers -- the same group I'd rather obliquely commented on in India that day).

See, my theory is that only in a place as presumably lawless and unregulated as Chile could anyone construct a swimming pool of this magnitude. In America, we have far too many building codes, zoning ordinances, local and regional councils, state and federal laws, ADA compliance issues, wetlands preservation regulations, environmental impact study requirements, labor policies, insurance considerations, litigation exposure related to the number of lifeguards on duty, et cetera et cetera ad nauseum.

You think they have that shit in frickin' Chile?! Hell no. Some dude bought 20 acres, dug a mondo hole and Bob's your uncle (or Roberto, as it were). Being that it's South America, they no doubt have topless cocktail waitresses patrolling the cool waters as well.

Ergo, ironically, it's our own fault that we cannot, nor will we ever likely, boast of hosting the world's hugest-ass swimming pool. It's sad because, given American know-how and resourcefulness, we could have one -- and it could be 10x bigger than Chile's, and even have a wave feature I'm sure.

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On January 30, 2008, BeckEye wrote:

Who the hell has to skim that pool?

On January 30, 2008, Chris wrote:

My first thought when seeing that picture was trying to imagine swimming laps on that mo-fo!

On January 30, 2008, Dragon Laugh wrote:

Ya know what would rock? A water park spanning the length of the USA, west coast to east. Part of it would be underground, for the chillier seasons and due to, you know, hug-ass cities and stuff in the way. Now THAT would be one helluva swmin-up bar!

On February 1, 2008, Grant Miller wrote:

Only thing is, they have or had roaming death squads in Chile not all that long ago.

But a big motherfucking pool almost makes up for that.

Contact / Connect

Connect on Facebook  Connect on LinkedIn

Hawthorne Crow YouTube Account  Hawthorne Crow Flickr

Or, drop me a line via my web development company's contact form. :-)

Need a Web Developer?

Thanks for visiting my personal blog. I develop web sites for a living through my company Array Web Development, LLC. If you need a business web site, pay my business web site a visit and contact me through there anytime.