Just What We Need: More Government Regulation!!!

07 Feb 2007

Well, I know you all think I'm nuts for flirting with libertarianism like I do. My readership plummeted after that self-serving little post of mine a while back. But, as I disclosed yesterday, I'm mentally disturbed to begin with, so perhaps it makes more sense to you now. In New York today, a state senator, one Carl Kruger (afiliation unknown and irrelevant to me) proposed a new paternal bill: You can't cross the street while engaged with an electronic device (e.g., iPod, Blackberry, PSP, cell phone, etc.). The Government, said Kruger, "has an obligation to protect its citizenry" [from its own stupidity, presumably]. Anyone else just a little insulted by this arogant fuckwad?

Next up for Kruger? [And, keep this on the DL, friends, as I don't want people tracing this back to me, okay?] See, Kruger learned recently that there are two types of people: those who crumple and those who fold. According to insiders, Kruger's a lifelong crumpler because he believes folding indicates (ironically, when you think about it) a "certain retentiveness" that's potentially harmful, in the long-term, to those who practice it. And, since the Government (Big G) has an "obligation" blah blah blah, well, there'll be a bill introduced soon to address this abomination of personal hygene, complete with brick and mortar enforcement facilities with business practices similar to annual auto-inspections. Folding, you see, can be discovered via microscopic telltale signatures left behind (akin to, for example, the way smokers develop wrinkles around their mouths from so much clenching of the cancer sticks). Won't be the prettiest bill to've ever crossed legislators' desks, but it's for the greater good.

Fuckwad.

Original Comments

Below, are the original comments on this post. Additional comments may be made via Facebook, below.

On February 7, 2007, USpace wrote:

This man has surely lost his mind, it’s time for him to retire on a BIG FAT pension.

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
retire senile senators
.

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